So I had to go to Montreal to fire someone on Wednesday. That's why I've been terrified, the last 2 weeks. But when it actually came down to it, in the room, in the moment... I totally disconnected. I felt like an informed onlooker, nothing more. There to provide information and support, but certainly not involved. Clinical, almost. It's a scary feeling - impacting someone's livelyhood, even if you honestly believe they shouldn't be working for you. It's even scarier to realize you don't feel all the normal, human things you should be feeling - guilt, sorrow, empathy, anger. When I had talked about it last week to my HR mentor, who's a VP at a major banking company, she said that, even though it doesn't get easier, you just get into this zone and you stop feeling involved, you just try to soften the blow as much as possible. She was right - I was the one who was as calm as the ocean, whereas the area manager in the room with me was shaking like a leaf, fidgeting, stuttering, clicking his pen, folding his paper. Of course, he's the one who actually had to say the words, but still. He barely got them out as it was.
I never thought I would act like that. Cold and professional. I hope she saw some compassion in my face.
Readin' Ender's Shadow (Card); Eric (Pratchett)
Listenin' to Rick modeling
Thinkin' about bootin' up the Wii to play Mario Galaxy.
Most recently I was 
