SO. talked with a lot of people today...
It makes me SO VERY ANGRY that they thought i couldn't let go of mike. I left him alone all summer even tho it killed me. I wasn't over at his place every day so he could get his life back on track. I didn't insist we talk even tho i desperately wanted to. I haven't been over in months so he could actually have an unfettered relationship. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME? fucking damned if i'm there and damned if i'm not. yeah, i didn't react too well when i found out he had a gf, but fucking LOOK HOW I FOUND OUT.
a) love-of-my-life, father-of-my-children ex has a gf, b) no one told me, c) i find out by the noises. Jesus fucking H Christ cut me some slack. I fucking DID let him go, damn well and of my own volition. Because i loved him. Because i wanted to do anything that would make his life better. UP TO AND INCLUDING letting him go. Which is why we broke up in the first place. Because I was always nagging him for never calling me, and i felt he could work better and enjoy himself more if he didn't have me hanging over him like a shadow, being a pathetic wreck whenever he called cuz he never did. i did it because i loved him. Because i would do anything for him.
That said and done, i'm not going to be angry about this anymore. i don't give a shit what anyone thinks, except the people who know me and they don't need to be told. i'm tired of being misunderstood, of needing a permanent translator. if you don't understand me then stop trying because you're not going to. it's not like i'm speaking swahili.
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
