Hi.
Did i mention my boss is a moron? not with the NDP, they're great. john, the tutoring guy. i went over to the 3 y/o's house. the grandmother (who lives with him) forgot about it. i called her. she answered the door, totally flustered. my height, black, frail, maybe 60. led me into a small white room, bare walls, and original Louis XVI (yes, i can tell) furniture. 10 mins later, came back in with a house-coat on and a pad of paper. "so, can i see you're CV?" (resume, for you north americans.) i'm like ".... i wasn't aware this was going to be a job interview, i thought it was going to be a latin lesson..." i think i flustered her a bit. we started talking about TFS, U of T, semiotics, what languages i spoke (she wasn't impressed; her son speaks 8. ehn, i'll get there...), ecce romani and a bunch of similar things, how i'd teach and things like that. then she's like "so what's the timetable?" and i'm like "i haven't been told" and she's like "i haven't either [it's her son who's arranging it all] but i understand you're to come over here, give him half an hour of latin in the mornings, drive him to school, pick him up, take care of him and give him half an hour in the evening?" i'm like "....... pfff-NO. i'm going to be working full-time. and i don't drive. i wasn't told anything like that at all." [i know, i know, i'm getting around to it...] She's like "oh.... why don't i go call my son?" i'm like "yeah... my boss is supposed to be coming over at 5." she's like "really? no one told me." (gah.) she calls her son in the kitchen, mostly i hear "i have a lady here... remember, latin? remember how we were going to have douglas learn latin? yes, latin. so anyway, she can't drive. how can she pick him up if she can't drive? no, no... well what should i tell her? 'yes thank you very much'? well tell me exactly what you want to tell her and i'll say it..." and i'm just here laughing my ass off by myself and thinking ok, first time i see john, i go "sorry but you're a moron and i can't work for you." Then he rings the doorbell. she hangs up, pokes her head in the room as she pushes the kid inside towards me and goes "i guess that's your boss?" i'm like "i suppose so, never met him." The kid, doug, was an absolute joy, so cute. blonder than i was at his age. i told him to come sit on the couch with me (i wish children wore underwear under their shorts.) i whispered "this is going to be interesting" and he started giggling, he totally understood me. so john comes in, the grandmother, mrs. mackenzie, sits down and goes "my son says you're supposed to teach him math too?" and at that point i just burst out laughing and go "oh yes? apparently i'm supposed to teach him math, john! know what else i'm supposed to do? [turn to grandmother] If you'd like to tell him..." (yes, we already know i'm going straight to hell, cassis and i even have a hand-movement for it so we don't have to say it anymore... remember "The Hand", from the 80s? i.e. "talk to The Hand!" yeah, that. ugh. anyway, like that, but instead of flipping your hand back up, as in The Hand, you slide it down, towards Hell. Where I'm going. *sigh*) Anyway. So they're talking, I've got my hand on my forehead and i'm just shaking my head, looking at the kid and smiling, he sticks a finger next to his mouth, all Dr. Evil, and we both start laughing... brilliant kid... :) Can't wait to have one. Mine wouldn't ever have a mushroom haircut tho. hate those. Anyway. So john's like "kerry can i see you at the car?" (re: cheque stuff) so i'm like "ok", the grandmother shoos him out the door while i'm holding doug's hand and we're talking, he had a strange english accent. So I'm going to get going, she's like "are you leaving?" i'm like "yeah, i have to go to Church [we already know i'm going to hell... truly, the Lord is my Saviour...], but if you get this all sorted out, call me, and i really hope it goes well for you, i know you're stuck in the middle. keep the books, he might like looking at them. (my "ecce romani" and "winnie ille pu") :) she really liked me, and smiled and giggled, so if he is going to end up getting taught latin, i'll be the one. poor kid. he was all sad when i was leaving, i was like "why don't you go look at that book over there?" so he seemed happy enough after that. :) i really liked him.
Anyway, so i walk out to john's car, we trade cheques, he completely blames the father and absolves himself, i'm like "yeah well give me a call if something happens. i'm walking home bye."
Decidedly irritated. But it was all dumb anyway, and i didn't really mind, just pissed off with john, he's screwed with my time a lot.
:) but other than that, had a GREAT day! :)))) went out shopping with mum in the morning, spent the line-up for winners (ugh, winners... ok, i'm SO not a label-snob, but i DO hate winners... i'd much prefer valu-village to winners... dunno why.... anyway, yeah, the one next to the BD on eglinton :) ) discussing the policeman who was looking through the shirts and how we thought he was gay and how she thought he had a nice ass (i was scandalised- my mother looking at asses without me! Maybe cuz... i'm not really... interested.... anymore.... ;) =X) , and we spent the whole time there making fun of everyone and being snobby. this kid starts squealing and making loud, obnoxious noises, so i go in a really loud voice "man, at least i know i was never that annoying, cuz if i was, you would have shot me" and mum goes "Yes, absolutely..." (also loudly...) :) we just had a great morning. i guess cuz we weren't pants-shopping. Then we went to fairweather's, in don mills, and bought a whole pile of blue shirts, maybe i'll take some pics later :) And the lady in the line behind us started patting my hair (it was down) and telling me it was lovely, so i was explaining how to do it with a big grin on my face (mum hates the black part), we walk out and i'm like "oh, excuse me, was that an unsolicited compliment from someone your age?? OH MY GOD!" she's like "yeah shut up..." I made some comment or other earlier that had her telling me i was going to go to hell.... can't remember what it is for the life of me... but she burst out laughing and then told me i was going to hell....
[I love Slutboy, he's great. From his diary, for yesterday:
If someone had told me six months ago that the Slutboy Chronicles would end up being a love story, I would have thwacked them on the head and informed them that the Baby Jesus sends liars straight to hell in a New York Minute.
I was having fun thinking about how fast the Baby Jesus would send me to hell (maybe a Chriss-minute, defined as the amount of time chriss is ever single :) JOKING, Sakti...) but of course, know what i thought of? Yep. The Baby Jesus Buttplug.
See? Told you I was going straight to Hell.]
:) So i walked home from Doug's, and it was through Rosedale and beautiful outside, not too hot, and of course i was bitching to Jessi about John-the-moron and like half way to coughing up a lung. I called up daddy after and bitched to him, he laughed a lot, so i took a drink and sat out in the back yard bitching to daddy. then Rick was online when i got on. :) Then mum came home. and she and i started making dinner together and talking about her wedding rings (all white gold, the engagement ring and other ring with diamonds and an emerald each, the wedding band plain white gold), and then she went out to pick up daddy and i was preparing the veggies, belting out Bare Naked Ladies' "Too Little Too Late" (reminds me of someone... damned if i can think who... >;) ooooh, COLD, ker...), and stabbing myself through the heart with the asparagus. And giggling about it. :) I kill me. :))))
So anyway, that's my wonderful day. I think i've just scared tony, asking him for the Baby Jesus Buttplug Webpage, but that's ok. Chriss can do damage control :)
editor's note: Tony's catholic. STRAIGHT TO HELL. But it's ok, cuz Chriss said she'll "cover your hell-bound ass..." >:) don't i have GREAT friends?
P.S. took pics of the shirts. Here:
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