just watched "Dogma" again; james was right, i did get yelled at. but mum was more put off by the swearing and overtly-mentioned sex (oh Jay and Silent Bob...) than the content, which in fact she agreed with. Go me. I'd forgotten how hot matt damon is. his smile is exactly like brandon tina's. or maybe more like hilary swank's when she did BDC. matt damon's dating gwynyth paltrow?! didn't ben affleck?! aren't they like best friend?! HOW COULD HE DATE GWYNYTH?! she's like 50 billion years older than him AND dated brad pitt who's a dumb blond AND she's annoying and ugly AND she's not me (or conceivably jayjay.)
Going out with MHD tomorrow, which is good. might go underwear-shopping at eaton's, go "La vie en rose"! i bought a pair of plain dark greys, and a white pair with little angels and devils in stick figures all over, and a leopard-print pair for Jessie today, and i'm going to go back to get some more, maybe a black lacy pair for chriss, another leopard-print for Jess, and maybe the grey ones with the sheep for me.
Hm. strangely enough, this week's been very revealing for me on the personal end. saw all kinds of boyfriends being dragged through boxing-day shopping by annoying girlfriends, felt sorry for them. also, felt incredibly.... jealous? not jealous. longing. the one mood imood says i feel most often. longing. that's probably true. i miss the intimacy of sex. i've figured out why i don't like being around mike- don't like having my perfect image destroyed. but there's nothing left of last year. everything i liked is gone. at least, everything that's visible/accessible to me. what upsets me is that this doesn't upset me. i was thinking about it all day while shubha and michelle and i were out shopping (i'll upload those pics tomorrow) and i was really disturbed that love-of-my-life-father-of-my-children-Mike no longer holds any attraction for me at all. I don't want him anymore. At all. i mean, even larry has his attractions... deep, highly intelligent, philosophical, even if i don't agree because of being unable to relate (but at least i recognize that), a 4-inch tongue... heh, wish i'd been into that shit back then. oh well. but mike... i feel nothing. it's like that page has been turned and the pages glued shut every time; you can remember the story-line, but you can't reread the words. it's like a general feeling of not-being-impressed. i guess this is contributing to my general intimacy-longing- i'm finally, well and truly, possibly irreversably, over him. I'm ready to start again.
Heh. Funny, life. You can't step back to take a look, except in a very terminal way, only step sideways.
I'm going to go finish off the strawberry & chocolate mousse cake. :)
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about