You know, it always really bothers me when I wake up and remember I've just had a dream about being really close with someone, and then realize they don't exist. I know it seems strange, but I have close bonds with people in my dreams, which is why i can be completely cold to you one day, and friendly as anything the next; if i'm really close with a dream-person, it just feels like they've died, when i wake up.
I had a dream that an actual, bona fide, institutionalized psychopath liked me last night. He tried to kiss me and hadn't done it in so long he couldn't remember how- I remember him saying "well the first one's bound to be a little rusty." He was dark-skinned, with grey hair, buzzed. The only way I could stay his equal was to point out I was crazier than he was- it calmed him down. In some measure, I scared him too, my psycho-ness scared him because he could sense I had control over it better than he did.
What aspect of my life does this reflect? I think I have an idea... Someone I'm not sure might be more or less damaged than i am (yes, you.) Someone whose pain and life and experience I'm afraid of, in case I can't cope, in case it doesn't fundamentally work and I have to strike out, lash out again to get out alive. Because human beings are basically unpredictable entities and you only have control halfway, where you have to meet each other.
I'm scared of the power I might have. Over. Because I don't want it.
Time.
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
