Had another dream that my mother organized my marriage without actually asking me. It was horrible. This is the 2nd or 3rd time I've had a dream like this, and I'm wondering what it means -- that I'm scared she'll take away the details to me, or that I'm afraid she'll expect me to conform o her idea of a wedding, or that I feel she's trying to push me into marriage because anything other than that is just "dallying." She does't believe R and I have real committment (despite us having been together for 2 years now), because we're not married. I don't think she'd prefer if we were, she just thinks we're not serious. Possibly she's wondering why we're not engaged yet (she was after 18 months or whatever.... several times, actually, not just to Daddy...) I don't know, but that dream last night was really scary. I felt so powerless, floated along by the current. I refuse to let that happen.
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