An ominous start to the morning- I had more nightmares about people trying to kill me, and I ate the little plastic label on my nectarine.
Yes, I've got my anthro quiz today, and yes, I finished the book at 1:30AM last night. But I KNOW what I'm talking about. gonna ace it.
So really tired and want to sleep but have class til 7 today cuz we're watching "Black Orpheus" in film class and I miss Rick. The week drags out in between weekends.
Well, the test was easy, and the movie was good, and I'm sliding back into the Good Space, working, thinking even. Appreciating things again, not just one or two, but everything, a line of poetry, the smell of this afternoon, the acquaintances I meet and know just well enough to hug, being at peace with the world, loving everyone, being loved. It's so important to me. So, so important.
Two years to the day since I started here at Diaryland. I'm an old-timer :)
PORNO
Under different circumstances I could fall in love with her--
The beauty of a French woman was mixed in her
with the beauty of unidentified Orientals;
the beauty of her body, her face, the beauty of her walk,
have made all the women I've seen until now seem ugly.
Her beauty remade the body's loveliness
Into a cruel question -- for a moment the cruelest of questions.
To desire her together with all the others--
those acting with her in the film, making it with her before my eyes,
and those watching her with me, creaking in their seats--
old men holding onto their feinal lusts,
queers cruising along the rows,
blacks who migrated to Tel Aviv to whiten their fortunes,
their frightened strangeness visible even in the gloom,
Arab workers homeless and filthy
jerking off in the corner in hopeless desire,
hoping for the cancellation of the Bride Price
and the expulsion of the oppressor,
quiet bashful Vietnamese who work in restaurants
and others -- anonymous in the heavy darkness
pierced by a ray of light
bringing her delicate beauty to the screen
the lighty echo of her supposed being.
Is to desire her among all these
like finding Euryidice in the underworld
passing through, white and smooth
with strawberry lips
in the consuming mists of the land of death?
This is a banal simile flattering
the poet who sees himself as Orpheus:
to desire her among all these is to find
on a deserted beach
among volcanic pebbles and tin cans
among seaweed and goat droppings--
a polished pearl
-- Mordechai Geldmann, translated from the Hebrew by Karen Alkalay-Gut
I like that poem. we're studying orpheus and eurydice in Film&Lit, and I found it so stirring... the porn star, the subject-made-object, compared to passive, objectified Eurydice, Orpheus' little reflective mirror. The whole story reminds me of something I once wrote, with respect to someone I once loved-
You're not in love with me at all
Just your reflection in my eyes.
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
