:) Had an awesome time last night. We watched "Dogma" eating chili and spaghetti (favourite home-made meal, as opposed to chicken balls or pizza), and I finished "Under Milk Wood", which is weeeird. We stayed up 'til like 1am talking in the darkness and playing "A is for apple"- you have to go through the whole alphabet and name something that starts with that letter. We went through colours, and foods (that was hard), and at "K" and a rather obscene joke on my part, both reeled off laughing until Rick got the hiccups really bad and had to get up and get a drink to stop them :) We had such a good time playing that stupid little game :) And Rick called in sick (and so did I, ssshhh!), and we stayed in bed all day, sleeping and chatting :) He said some really sweet stuff, which made me feel really good- after all, we've been together for nearly a year, very few things have captured my attention for a year... I like how we communicate, too. With Larry, with Mike, there were so many things I couldn't say, so many Forbidden Zones (ha!), even by unspoken consensus- future hopes and dreams, fantasies, not even real ones, aspirations, futures, careers, money... some words you could never say... and the freedom from all that, after all this time, is incredible. The ability to say what you want without fear of retribution or insecurity, the freedom to say "I love you" whenever and wherever you want, the freedom to say what you mean, regardless... The ability to true-speak. It's so liberating. Even when I say really awful things, about other people, about politics, about anything, he never shoots me down... just keeps listening long enough for me to come full circle and apologize for being petty. Even when I talk fondly about exes, even when I feel him stiffen beside me, he never stops me, just lets me continue on down Memory Lane to the present. He always makes me feel better if I give him the chance to (not as frequently as you might think.) He tries- I think that's the difference. That's what makes him quality. This morning, Matt woke us up by playing music really loudly, and I was really pissed off, so we got back at him >:)))) I like being that kind of childish person, at ease, safe and happy. Even when I don't return the same kind of liberties (I'm sorry), it's just cuz I haven't grown enough yet. Give me time and I will :)
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free...
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night....
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
