Readers who know my M.O. may have noticed that I haven't written my usual "Big Summary" of life at U of T, now that it's ended. I've been meaning to, and I will, but for the moment, it's too damn big. I can't sum up 4 major years of my life, and I don't think I've fully accepted that they're over. For the moment, I'm just coasting, and I don't think it's really kicked in that I'm not going back to school in September. So give me time and let me work it out, piece by piece. One thing for sure: I've never changed as much over any other 4-year period of my life. U of T has made me.
In the same vein, I don't think I'm going to talk much here about my meeting with Laurent today. What was supposed to be roughly an hour and a half turned into seven and a half hours- I don't even think we ever talked that long continuously when we were going out. As C said, it's sort of like information overload, like being plugged into the training programs in "The Matrix": suddenly, "I know Kung Fu" and it's a weird and disturbing sensation to find it's not what I thought it was. 5 years' worth of perceptions changed in one day. I mean, there's a lot to process from today, thoughts and feelings, and I don't even know where to begin. Not only did we get a lot of rumours resolved... but I actually really enjoyed myself. It was odd- no animosity, almost back like we talked during TFS Shop days. I still need to work it all out; possibly diagrams will be involved. But I don't think I'll put it out here. It was between him and me (myself?), and for once, I pretty much want to keep it that way. But a) I'm glad he doesn't actually think I'm evil incarnate, b) I'm glad most of the shite I heard about him wasn't true, c) I'm amazed we talked for so long and no one hit anyone else or cried or swore or bitched or anything.
I think it's very possible this was the closure I didn't know I needed. He was the first one to introduce me to the word "closure," and I had no idea what he was getting at, at the time. But as I was biking home, I felt strangely peaceful. Unexpectedly so.
Again, as in "The Matrix," "I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm here to tell you how it's going to start..." I have no idea if we'll ever talk again, maybe not, who knows. But right now.... I'm actually struggling with the idea that I... like Laurent as a person.... It's in strange and unusual territory, and I'm not too sure what to do with it. But I had a really great time today, and I wasn't expecting to. Is that supposed to happen?
Readin' sort of "Snow White and the Seven Samurai", which blows.
Listenin' to Sims "pause" music.
Thinkin' about going to bed vs. continuing my game :)
Most recently I was 
