Well, Mum just dropped me off at school (got 2 hours to go until class), and I got hideously lost in New College. Honestly, this place is a laberinthe (sp?!) I can see the student lounge I was aiming for out the window and across the quad from here (the library, never been in it. The keyboard's loud and clicky.)
In a good mood overall. Singing Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man," and for those of you In The Know, Mum was on the netball team with her when she was in school so she's always had a soft spot for the White Lady of Soul. I'm only starting to get into her now tho.
Got a craving for that burrito I had yesterday. DAMMIT! See what new experiences do to you?!
Had a weird-ass dream involving Jacob, don't remember anything except me lying on a couch and catching a glimpse of some words in his diary, which was on a table next to me. He came up and started to say "Please don't [read that]" but I cut him off and asked him if I could read it because I was impressed by the vocab and syntax (I was.) He looked at me condescendingly (he's 9) and said "No, I don't think so.", closed it and walked off with it. I was so angry I left the house in a huff. Trying to figure out what it means- maybe I'm jealous of his talent? Maybe I'm hurt he shut me out of his life? (He didn't, I've never really had an interest in him because he's always scared me.) Loz and I are convinced he's going to turn into a Stalin-Mussolini- socialist (his parents are), a world dictator, but a patron of the arts. We're just happy we're in his family =p Loz was in my dream too. I miss him. I decided he looks quite a bit like Ewan McGregor in "Episode One," but Loz is cuter than that. I suddenly know how Dakk feels when people hit on his little brother.
But then, at least, I can get a date...
You know, I was thinking about it this morning, and it was something of a revelation to realize that my most embarassing moment wasn't, against all expectations, when I was walking commando down Bay St. with my fly open, or when that nasty thing with the maxi pad happened at Science Fair- my most personally embarassing moment, the one that embarasses me most, happened when I was in grade three. Oh, there have been other moments, inopportune farting, putting foot in mouth to a couple of Antie's exes (i.e. telling Al Antie picks the messed up ones, they get more messed up because of her [not that she messes them up, but that she has that effect on them], and then I date the fucked up leftovers- I've only dated one but been attracted to a couple more, tho not Jordan. Never Jordan.) and that business with Skankydave's girlfriend in the bathroom. Running away from that damned squirrel in Queen's park was pretty embarassing. How Rick's co-workers think we're so cute and get all condescending on the phone cuz they think I'm like 15. Walking in on roommate Kristen with yucky-Kevin (I just didn't like him cuz he kept me up all night singing and he couldn't sing, but he was probably nice.) That time I was insulting the church vocalist to mum because I missed the old one who moved to Africa with her husband or something, and the vocalist was right behind me... that's always been a tough one to deal with, felt really guilty after that... but the absolute worst was when I learned about sex. Not that actual part itself, cuz I had a video called "Where do i come from?" which I had thought was all about geography because it had a little black baby on it and a little white baby and a little asian baby, and anyway it was the last movie in the bin at Don Mills Library that we hadn't seen. I remember examining the video in the car on the way home, and being horrified by the slogan "Sex education can be fun!" I didn't know what sex was but I knew it was a taboo word, and my parents didn't use it, and I thought it was a swearword, but there was definitely the idea that it was something dirty and wrong. In a quavering voice I suggested that we return the video because there was a swearword on it which I couldn't bring myself to read (how innocent I was!), but which was a very bad word. The Parents had an idea, I think, but since I couldn't tell them what the word was, and they felt it was probably time I found out, they passed it off easily. But anyway, that part wasn't all that bad.
The bad part was when I went to school the next day and divulged this shocking behaviour to my best friend at the time, Ashley Rycroft. I can't remember if she already knew or not, but she probably did. Ashley had this on-again-off-again thing with Chris Kelly (admittedly, half the grade did, often at the same time, and I was always somewhat insulted that I wasn't one of them, even tho Chris and I got on ok, considering boys had cooties and all.) Chris Kelly, for those of you who never knew him, was short, with blond hair, and a round face with twinkling eyes in them. He was very boyish (of course, he was 8 at that point, so no wonder.) This is just how I remember him- those who saw him strip for Meaghan McConnell in grade 1 might remember him differently. He was, in fact, very much like Boy Staunton in the Deptford Trilogy (Yay Robertson Davies!)- cute, adorable even, and a thoroughly spoiled brat. He used to have enormous tantrums, and I remember how he threw a chair in grade 2 at Mrs. Sullivan, who was the nicest English teacher of all time. He was the youngest manwhore I've ever known- offering junk food to girls if they'd kiss him, declaring his undying love every couple of weeks to someone new, and acting about 7 years older than his age. He was a force to be reckoned with, if only because he'd go for the balls; more like a tornado than a kid, really- sometimes calm and sweet, and sometimes flying off the handle and then you had better damnwell take cover. So basically, what my memory of Chris Kelly was, was vastly oversexed for an 8-y/o, as safe as handling a scorpion, and almost certainly extremely rich. He had the stereotypical rich arrogance, the unmitigated tempers when he wanted anything, which was all the time, the charm of John Tory, especially when he was trying to get sexual favours from girls who didn't even know what periods were... and desired by most. For some reason, that kind of arrogance always sucks girls in. Arpad had it, and Conky had it. John Tory Jr. had it too. Very hard to control people like that, cuz they know they're all that with cherries on top.
Anyway... the most embarassing moment of my life happened in the playground. Oh, nothing juicy, so you're going to be disappointed, but in retrospect, it was thoroughly embarassing to me. At this point, having watched the "Where do i come from?" video five or six times, I knew what the outer procedure was, but not, as it were, the mechanics. Oh, i got it about the sperm and the egg and all, and I had an idea that at some point I would wake up with a little (they stressed "little" in the video, little my ass...) blood on the sheets, and they NEVER said it would last for 7 days!!! Bastards. But I only had a vague, hazy notion about this egg-laying business. Oh what would you have called it then?! Eggs are layed, that's what they do, it's not my fault. And I tried to explain it all to Ashley as best as I could (in retrospect, getting the facts of life from me before her parents probably royally fucked her up in later life), so she only had a vague, hazy notion of the whole ordeal too (or maybe I just screwed up her current notion), but suddenly it clicked in for her what the hell Chris Kelly was all about. So when he told her, next to the basketball nets on the east side of Mildenhall, that he would give her a chip if she kissed him and a whole bag if she slept with him, Ashley tore off screaming, Chris ran after her, and I ran after them both yelling "It's ok, you haven't layed any eggs yet!!!"
What the HELL was I thinking?
That question occurred to me at the time, too, and I stopped running around and tried to pretend I hadn't just said that because anyone who knew what I was talking about would laugh, and anyone who didn't would be thoroughly confused and laugh years later when they got it.
And that particular event was the most embarassing moment of my whole life. Pretty amazing, considering all the dumb things I've done since.
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
