Find myself getting achy, thinking of the past (prompted by Paul's email.) I just... do. While this is definitely the best time of my life to date, and I'm feeling very much safe and comfortable and happy, there are some things I miss. R is, without a doubt, the best boyfriend I've ever had.... but that doesn't mean others didn't have some good qualities. And I'm allowed to miss those qualities, from time to time.
(I know it sounds like I'm trying to give myself permission, but I'm not, really!)
R got me up SUPER-early today, and had I not had hypnosis at 9am, I could have whined at him to call in sick this morning. He was so warm and soft, and his bed was so comfy, it's such a wrench to leave him... I feel like I only ever really come alive when I get to spend time with him. Everything else, even the half-hours we go for lunch together, are just whiling away the time until we can cuddle up in front of the TV or shake the roof down again.
Got a final on Monday, haven't started studying. Meant to.... but I wanted a break. Have 2 books to read in the meantime.
Feeling sad that I'll only have 3 more weeks of hanging out with Wayne. I mean, I have a lot of class with him, and he's nice to talk to, but we don't really talk enough to hang out beyond classes, so I guess we won't. So I only have 3 more weeks' hang-out-age. Then it's off to find friends and a job in the cold, cruel Real World. Fuck.
11:57pm
Yes, I already went to bed. I ended up reading, finishing "England, England" (good start, disappointing ending, IMO), came downstairs to get swanky new walkman to listen to hypnosis tape. (Can't sleep.) Coming down with cold- my throat's been hurting since I came home, and I'm starting to feel sniffy. Tried drowning it out with Benilyn (sp?) First Defense, which I don't think is going to work. If I get sick NOW, I'm going to kill myself. Got too much to do. Also getting a headache now.
18 hours ago I was asleep in a nice, warm, comfy, sunny, Rick-filled bed. Now I have to go back upstairs to my bed: cold, single-sized, and the sheets keep coming off the mattress. An icon of my old-maid-like life at home, you know? VERY single. At home. Wish I wasn't, for all that Parents are nice at the moment. Mum said she wanted to take a trip to the Walnut Cake Factory tomorrow (you're right, red bean sucks ass.) Heavens forfend.
Head hurts =( Can feel pressure at the back and side. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, DAMMIT! Just want to curl up in a warm, friendly bed. It's the only place to be when you're queasy, from past experience. (On the other hand, when you've got a kidney infection, clouds wouldn't make soft enough pillows. No, I don't have one.)
Feeling thinner but heavier. Gonna try to cut down on bad carbs. And my right arm's hurting, the bicep, for no apparent reason (other than that it's my ice-cream-scooping arm, but that was last Thursday!)
I give up. Everything's too much. Just want sleep...
Readin' "England, England" (barnes)
Listenin' to fountain
Thinkin' about snooze
Most recently I was 
