Had an uncomfortable dream where I was in a group doing a project or something and I was so busy trying to have sex with one of the members (who may or may not have been Percy) that I didn't pay attention or do any work at all, and since he wouldn't bang me I got bored and walked off to listen to another group, and then went to the bathroom, and when I got back I got given a sheet with my name and a "-----" next to the attendance mark. And when I talked to one of the people in the group (who may or may not have been Fay but looked like Trish), she basically shut me down and said "I don't remember you doing anything, what did you contribute again?" and basically wouldn't let me be part of the group, even though I knew lots of the topic (whatever it was.) And then I asked Lena, who was also in the group, and she was really mean to me too and said they'd already divided up the tasks.
This has never happened to me in real life, because I tend to jump right into things. I mean NEVER, not even remotely. In fact, usually people are asking ME if I think they're doing enough. And to be honest, sometimes I make noise and splash around and seem like I'm doing a lot more than I am, but I still try to keep that particular source of resentment at bay. I don't mind being hated for being a brown-noising yapper who can't shut the hell up, because that's not too far off from the truth (validate your kids, people, or they'll end up like me), but I would hate to be accused of not contributing. Fay had a minor meltdown once when Barb accused her of not knowing her material and not doing as much work as everyone else (she was in San Francisco the day before, for Pete's sakes!), and Fay seemed to feel everyone agreed with Barb. I thought that was bull, because it certainly never occurred to me - everyone contributes what they're able to, some are able to contribute more than others, that's all there is to it. You wouldn't want someone to contribute more than they're able to, because then it'll look like shit.
Kitty's on the floor, kicking the poo out of a stuffed bear my dad gave me because he thought it was a monkey. She's been very destructive lately, I think she's bored. One less person around means she's alone more. Hopefully we'll get a new kitty soon to keep her company.
Prepping for the party: I got candles, floor cushions, balcony lights... I need some heavy-duty food, an inflatable mattress for the balcony, some games possibly....
11:35am
Why do clothing and furniture companies (Pier 1, Linens 'N Things, IKEA) assume that if you're young, you love bright, lurid, clashing colours that smack of the 70s? By definition, if you're young, you won't REMEMBER the 70s, and anyway, I think my generation has a lot more taste than we're given credit for. We're not usually all experimental and rebelling and therefore totally blind in the use of colour. We like coordinating and making everything fit, or highlighting one colour (like Katie's black, white and red bedroom), and there isn't much space in life for orange and aquamarine chairs. For example, C and I went shopping a few days ago, and I ended up gettinga dark olive-green sheet to make into curtains, and cream, green and black/grey floor cushions which coordinate with the whole look of the living room. The woods in the living room are either black/brown, or "pine." Nothing clashes (except me, currently, sitting on the forest-green futon in a light blue dressing gown.) Anyway, I'm just annoyed by the implication that people under 30 have no taste and also the attention span of a flea, which can only be captured by bright, splashy colours. We're not ALL into shiny objects.
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
