:) our mum's going to be on tv. she won an audition for a tv commercial about vitamins. fitting, eh? :) looks like i might be getting my digital after all... i had a feeling she'd get it.
eve brought baby mathew to SCA. so adorable. i was cooing the whole time. i want one. she told me she was burning the trifold candle i made her throughout the whole natural labour, until she had to go to hospital for the emergency C-section.
Confused. I didn't know what I wanted when I was with him saturday, I knew as soon as I left, and now he doesn't. I feel confused, and a bit cheated, and a bit vindicated- i knew it wasn't all i thought it could be. thing is, it could be pre- stuff. only... only he said dating some trin girl eradicated the desire to date ever again. does that include now? I asked, he didn't know. i don't know either, but i'm not hopeful. he said he told a friend that he met "a really nice girl," she demanded the sign and said a pisces/pisces match was bad. i've wanted to date a pisces since the summer...less pressure. more empathy. i wrote "i like you" upside down on the newspaper between us when we were at grabba's (he's in mensa, did like 5 crosswords averaging 10 mins each... i've never met someone i wanted to know so much.) he wrote back "u r funny i lyke you 2." damn semiotics. you read anything into everything. "u r funny"- decentering "you are funny", which is a strange thing to say in the circumstance anyway- "let's back up a level here, i'm telling you i'm not going to take that seriously." "i lyke"- by decentering "like", you take away it's sincerity, validity, it's regular connotation. you "unserious" it. i'm starting to think this more and more. he hugged me bye and said he'd call. as if it was in question. as if to allay the thought that he might not call. i hadn't thought that. but apparently i should have. guess it ain't gonna happen.
i'm upset. he's so fun, so intelligent, so funny. no-stress. but i suppose better now than later. no regrets...
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
