Finally added a link to Rich's Blog, cuz dammit he's funny. Most of the people on my diary link list crack me up, but very few are actually ironic in quite the same way.
Today was full of small epiphanies (epiphonious?) I got to bed at 2am, didn't sleep for an hour or two, drifted off, got woken up at 7:30am by Daddy, saying we were going to church at 8am. Half an hour's notice is not kind, but I damn-well dragged myself out of bed, half-crying. When Daddy commented in the car that if I was that sick, I should be staying home, I started ranting and screaming about how I can't sleep anymore but I WAS UP, FUCKDAMMIT, BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T GO TO CHURCH, THERE WOULD BE AN ALMIGHT FUSS AND IT JUST WASN'T WORTH IT. So anyway, shitty start to the day, but as I sat through mass, totally fazed, I realized that hey, I'm suddenly ok with everyone. In my mind. (And no, "everyone" doesn't include Dakk. Some things will never change.) And ok with organized religion, the first time in years. I figured hey, the structure is there for those who need it, like my mom- if it helps her believe, live happier, then fine. And I don't need the structure, and i still believe, and I'm happy with that. It's sort of like training wheels.
And yesterday's chat with Kerry kinda put me at peace with a lot of stuff, even if nothing was said to make this happen. It was more the whole "steamroller of time" idea. Eventually, I stop being mad at people, I stop being a jerk, I grow up, everyone grows up, we all need a new chance, right? Like Eric Forman on "That 70s Show" (my new daily TV dose)- he acts like a jerk to Donna at every episode (during the break-up phase, season 4, I think), and by the end of the episode, he realizes he's being mean and starts trying to make her laugh. I'm like that- give me long enough, and I clue in. I think.
Regardless, my mom's been driving me nuts. Gonna go to R's Friday, hang out with Shelley Saturday, and generally try to avoid being home until X-mas. I'm not enjoying right now, I'm really not. Desperately dreaming of leaving.
Byron made a good point- I don't want to end up a counsellor, listening to a bunch of psychos talking about how they get off by raping children. Guess it's back to the drawing-board (HR?) for me...
R went to see LOTR, isn't home yet, so as soon as I'm done these slides, off to bed for me. Will probably talk about slides tomorrow.
Readin' Erewhom (Butler)
Listenin' to "Kids" inside my head (Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue)
Thinkin' about my lips hurting, R coming home
Most recently I was 
