I thought that Devallyk probably had a good idea going with the Exes page, and since, as much as they don't really play an active part in my life, they do contribute to the wonderfully sane person I am today, and since I'm stalling on a Derrida essay, I thought I'd present a large chunk of my history: the Exes. In order.
Brian: The first. Internet boyfriend from New Jersey. I was 15. First person I ever said "I love you" to. He used to write me poetry. Orange-haired, big-glassesed, computer programming guy. The short and skinny type. He was nice to me when I needed it. We almost met, on the Level 3 trip to Washington, but I chickened out at the last minute, told him the prof had had a heart-attack, and that the trip was cancelled. Broke up with him soon after. We were together from August 1996 to about March of 1997.
Alex: The second, my first kiss. Met him at karate camp when I was 16. We technically lasted a month. He was Russian-Jewish, came to Montreal when he was 6, spoke no French. He was big and good at karate but had several minor flaws, like an ugly personality. He seemed to revel in the fact no one at school liked him. He freaked me out pretty fast. We actually only ever went on 2 dates- the first, we went to go watch that abysmal movie, "Picture Perfect," spending much of it kissing (with my teeth jammed shut.) He called me that night and thanked me for the best night of his life. That tipped me off. He went to Barcelona for 2 weeks, then I went to the cottage for a week, after which point I thoroughly hated him. The second date was nearly a month later. He'd make me listen to 12-minute MIDI files of Vivaldi over the phone. I love Vivaldi and he never did anything to deserve being MIDIfied. And he'd talk incessantly about Minesweeper, causing me for years after to delete the game on every single computer I could get my hands on. I started pretending I was a stoner, I listened to Metallica really loud because he hated it, I tried to get him to dump me in a number of other ways, including telling him I was dating other people. He didn't seem to care. I was trying to be gentle because I was his first gf and I thought he'd feel better if he dumped me- fatal mistake. NEVER do it that way, it doesn't work out. Eventually broke up with him by telling him I was dating the head of a blood-sucking coven who sucked my blood and didn't want me to date anyone else named....
Laurent: Yep. At the time, that was sheer coincidence, because I was only working with Larry at the TFS shop, we used to chat, but I didn't feel anything for him other than a vague fascination. He was so deep, so intellectual. Chriss laughed at me for years for saying "I'm in love with his brain." Laurent was definitely one of a kind, the first real Love of My Life, brilliant, creative and intense. The perfect boyfriend if you're 16 and you hate your mother. Probably the most intense relationship I've ever had, and extremely memorable. I feel like I can remember every single day, because he always made a point of arranging it so I remembered. When he saw me in the hallways between classes, he used to pick me up and swing me around, no small feat considering how heavy I was and how thin he was. My hatred of videogames started with him, probably from being jealous he was fantasizing about Yuffi from FF7, a game I've never been able to think about with less than glowering rage. We won "Cutest Couple" in the yearbook. Broke up after 8 months because, essentially, we hated each other. He refused to compromise, and I felt like a piece of meat, since we never spent any fun-friend-time, just hanging out- we always had to be making out or something. He said he didn't want his girlfriend to be a friend. I didn't really get that (and I have to say, I've benefitted MUCH by ignoring it.) Laurent (see, I'm trying hard not to call him "Larry") will always be a conflicted group of ideas and ideals for me, and I'll probably never be able to see him as a normal person, or a friend. Especially in light of the last two years, and the different rumours I heard about him, some of which have been corrected by Diana. I respect him though, because he was brilliant, even if I often stated the belief that he'd die of a drug overdose at 26 in an attic somewhere. Uh, such is the price for genius? Not what I mean. I think I mean that Laurent is not someone who can grow old, in my mind; I just can't picture it. "Forever young."
We were together from October 1997 to June 1998.
Erik: Erik was my other best friend (next to C) for 2 years. It was probably one of those horrible Fate things- we became such good friends that the "friend-lover" line got blurred, and we couldn't tell which side we were on. As a best friend, he was fucking AWESOME. I spent hours on the roof outside his bedroom window, thinking, listening to him play
guitar. We'd watch "Shaft" and eat nachos and fake-cheese. We had insane pillow-fights. He was the funniest bastard I've ever known. We dated October to December 1998, because I'm not good at taking second place to anything, and Erik is a Musician. A really good one, as it happens, has got a deal with EMI, but not then, and I wouldn't have understood anyway. We weren't what each other needed. We didn't talk for months after we broke up, and he's the only thing I've really ever regretted in my life. I was 17, he was 15. But he was awesome.
(Now he looks like Jesus. With pigtails.)
Mike: This diary practically started out with the Saga of Mike, back in October 1999, so I'm not going to lay it out. Suffice it to say that Mike is/was probably my favourite ex, he was always fun to be around and taught me much about life, engineers and everything. My first university relationship, a wonderful friend, a great "Warm Person." My first sex partner and teacher. An immensely kind person, a break-up I really regret, and a sad aftermath. I wish we stilled talked, but I guess I can't have everything. I used to hang out at their apartment quite a bit, but it got too hard, and I wasn't able to move on, so I stopped going over, which probably translated as abandoning everyone else, but you can't please everyone all the time. He's probably the one ex I would feel unequivocally happy for if something good happened to him, and not the least bit jealous. We were technically together for 9 months, really together for 6.
James: I'd never call James a BOYFRIEND. He doesn't deserve that respect, because he never gave it anyway. James was a rebound of the nastiest kind (when Michelle's friend Leslie saw him once on the street, her only comment was "Whoa. Hard times for Kerry...") I met him the day I sent the email to Mike, breaking up. I was already shit-faced by the time he and Dakk arrived at Stein's, so no wonder I was easy meat- begging for someone to be nice to me, a total wreck, and nearly incapacitated. At first, James provided the details Mike couldn't (being in Cali)- little politenesses like holding doors, helping with coats, being gallant. Then it turned into a sort of yucky white-trash relationship. I feel dirty when I even think about any of it. I won't say I regret it, because I needed attention at the time, but I regret the price I paid, in self-esteem and in Mike-esteem. We stopped talking in April 2001, I think, and I snub him every opportunity I get. We "dated" or "saw each other" or whatever kind of bullshit term you want for not-committing, for perhaps 6 months, probably less. He was a right bastard.
Aaron: I'm not counting Aaron as a boyfriend either, because Lord knows he wasn't, but he was important to me at the time, maybe because I was so desperate to escape James. A Frat boy from Bush's house, DEK ("Deekee"), someone who'd read everything, thought everything, heard everything. Someone I intensely wanted to date- a Pisces, half-Asian, Mensa-member, well-rounded, good-massaging, crossword-enjoying... you get the picture. Not terribly good-looking, but hey, you can't win 'em all. He didn't want to date. Mike Manni told us later that he met someone soon after, fell in love, and is now possibly engaged to her. Oh, and that he was actually 28, 4 years older than he said he was.
Steve: I feel I shouldn't really put Steve in here either, because he doesn't deserve it, but at least I can keep it brief. Steve and I met on-line. He was English, and it was the first time I'd found how amazing it was to talk with someone from my own background. I was head-over-heels. He neglected to tell me about his gf in England, who was 17 and thus 8 years yougner than him, for quite a while. To make a short story even shorter, he dumped her for me, we had one night of crazy passionate sex, broke up the next morning because it was clear he missed her. By that point, she was dating someone else. I waited in the hope he might want to get back together, but he said if he was going to rebound, it would be onto another girl he met online. We never talked again. All in all, we were probably actually together for 3 days. If I saw him, and I couldn't snub him, I wouldn't damage him permanently... just punch him really hard or something. I was angry at how he took advantage of me, led me on. I suppose, but for him, I wouldn't have met Rick. But I can't attribute something that positive to him. He was a shit.
Rick: Still together, thus not an ex. ;) For nearly 1 year and 7 months (on Monday.) You hear enough about him in here, but he's the best friend-boyfriend I've ever had, the most relaxing, the most understanding, the most balancing. Not perfect, not idealized... but a positive and wonderful person. I couldn't ever do better.
There you go. Tada!
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
