i've come to the conclusion that nothing really matters. i remember someone (larry?) accusing me of being nihilistic after we broke up. beh. big word. whether or not someone annoys me, whether or not i get on with them, the ways in which they like me (sexually, non-sexually, sexually-but-not-like-that), the effect i have on them... nothing really matters. all i'm here for is to be a sponge. i absorb all the extra shit, all the sadness, the unknowing, the self-finding, the complaining, the unsatisfaction. I'm not here to GIVE anyone anything. giant sounding-board. as i was saying to james last night, an ambulant ear. that's all. it doesn't bother me if someone doesn't like me, or doesn't get on with me, or hates me, cuz frankly, how much of a difference is that going to make to their lives? it's not like they lost a major positive element in their lives, it's not like something's been taken from them. they just offload more on their better halves. i honestly am a giant sponge. "Think how much deeper the ocean would be if not for all the sponges at the bottom"
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
