Well michelle and i never met up cuz we forgot to specify which door and it was bloody freezing outside so i spent all day on the 13th, sci-fi mostly, got lotsa stuff for my star trek essay which i'm starting tomorrow [ah. or maybe not. we're going out, are we not?]

As expected, Jason (Erik's short scruffy friend and i've pinned down what's wrong with him, he's an ex-cocaine addict, jason not erik i mean) went on break with me,made the usual mention regarding erik's singleness when erik was in the room, and shocked me out of my skull (after all, i was teasing him before work on the coffee spilling yesterday), by being better at the crossword than i was! [oh fatal conceitedness...] But he was!?! he was getting the ones i didn't know! of course, i got the ones he didn't know, but in the words of Kevin Smith (well, in Dogma), "By God the little stoner's got a point!" GAH!! we were racing to finish it before end of break, and yes, as predicted, erik came out to get a chocolate bar. He punched my arm before work when i was doing the crossword cuz i hadn't said hi (well, i only do if i catch people's eye, and he was looking elsewhere when i looked up), made me jump about a mile cuz i was so into the crossword. i really miss aaron for that, i really enjoyed our crossword times... anyway, so he was like "you know that little box thing you chucked on my desk yesterday?" and i'm like "yeah..." and he's like "well there's something else like it, you know how to make it? like, you stick your fingers in..." and i'm like "oh you mean a fortune teller?" and start making one out of my project paper (i need origami paper) and jason's sitting next to me reading the paper and erik's like "hey jay, you seen these things man?" and jason's like "yeah you showed me yesterday..." and erik's like "nah the fortune-teller things..."
See, funny thing is, Jason leaves same time i do, he never pulls a double shift either. So they must have met up after erik's shift ended (4 hours later)... and it just doesn't really make much sense for erik to show and/or keep it then...

Curiouser and curiouser...

Well, actually, no, not really. More predicatble than IBM stocks, actually. But I like saying "curiouser and curiouser."

I said something today that normally, i would have thought would kill me (metaphorically speaking, of course)- i wished forgetfulnes on myself. Aloud, no less. Understand? Probably not. You know my favourite poem? "I sit beside my lonely fire, / And pray for wisdom yet- / For calmness to remember / Or courage to forget." (Charles Aide) BUT, THING IS, i've always wished them in conjunction, and been pretty good at it- selective amnesia? forget the bad, remember the good- i'm good at that. But more often than not, I've wanted the "calmness to remember"- we all know how emotional my immature little self gets. But i actually said that i just wanted to forget, and i can't figure out why; i always kind of felt that forgetting was chickening out, denying reality. I'm working on this as i'm typing. I think that the reason i want to forget is that any lessons i learned were learned very early on in our relationship, and the... perpetrator? not the right word. um. co-criminal? heh, not right either... whatever. the other one doesn't exist now. Therefore there's no point in remembering in the sense of wishing, or wanting, cuz he doesn't even exist for anything to happen. I can remember good stuff, i did today and i smiled and it was nice. But there's no point regretting. In any form. :) see? I am older, maybe older than you ever saw, ever understood. :) That's ok tho- james wouldn't tell me if old me existed anymore either, claiming immunity based on not knowing what i was like before i met him, which makes perfect sense. I suspect that i'm different but not unrecognizably so. Maybe compared to when i was with the other one, i hope not. I know i change a lot when i'm with someone, but i really hope i didn't lose myself as much as i think i did.

Bah. this isn't making sense to you anymore. It's only just still making sense to me. :) Doesn't matter, no hard feelings. My hands are frozen, I'm going to go get some hot chocolate (assuming mum hasn't used it), and do that reading finally.

Oh yeah, in "history of the worlf in 10 1/2 chapters", i sound/write exactly like the girl in "The survivor." EXACT SAME writing style. weird, eh?

OH oh yeah- the blond guy/supervisor, the one who probably isn't gay, who looks like he's probably in SCA and is probably named Brian, was my monitor today, and he said i had a great phone personality and i should go in for college radio :) i've never thought of it before, so i'm going to check out CIUT. :) On top of bellydancing, this is going to be fun... :)