New layout still isn't good, but better than last one. I'll fix it up when I get a good version of that pic (*hint*)
This weekend was the best headspace I've been in for a long time. Friday night was perfect- we went to Mandarin and totally pigged out- I had a whole plate of bad carbs, it was SO GOOD! And we got 2 fortune cookies each :) And I didn't even have room for creme caramel, which is incredible, really, cuz I have near-endless capacities for dessert. Then back home and read and veg and sleep... Finally warm again, finally happy again, finally togther again... Wake up early Saturday cuz Upstairs was vaccuming, wake up together... I hate sleeping alone... and get up and have chili and get picked up by Chriss and go grocery shopping (and buy rumballs!) and go back to her place and make chocolate mousse all afternoon (so good!), and it looked fantastic and i'll post pics this afternoon, it was probably the most chocolate I've had in the last 3 months, and the rumballs are like a chocolate black hole, super-condensed, nearly have their own gravity (attracting us...), and it was just a really good mental place. You know when you're just YOU, not limited in any way, not self-conscious, not even conscious of acting a certain way, just being you- sort of, not having an audience. Like, even when you're by yourself, you have an imaingary audience, but there are just some people you can be with, with whom you don't have "off-limit" words or topics, and you feel like you don't have an audience, just a communication. That's what yesterday at Chriss' was like. It was awesome. And I'm never making that chocolate mousse again.
Linking this entry of Marn's because it's hilarious :) :
I know you're all hepped up about tomorrow being May 1 and all because that means National Masturbation Month begins!
(It's called M�nage � moi here in Qu�bec for those of you who want to pick up some Free Bonus Qu�bec Factoids.)
;) She makes me wish I was old sometimes.
Have a seriously sore ass. Biked today for the first time in 6 years, since my bike was stolen at parents' 25th wedding anniversary party. Mum's bike seat feels like solid oak. Very hard. Very bruised. We got a squishy gel seat cover, but the damage was done. And the cover doesn't make THAT much difference, either. We also got me awesome new boots (I'm not posting pics because I'd have to connect my computer to the net [on Mum's], d/l the pics, upload them to my server, post, reconnect this computer... you get the picture. Or rather, you don't.) Am spending my lat few hours of uninterrupted summer hemming my jeans and looking for the Ben Gay I'll need tomorrow when I come home. =p Very nervous about this- can I cut it? I know it's not like boot camp or the army or anything (and trust me, I pity Phil from the bottom of my heart), but getting up at 6:30am all summer, biking to work, manually labouring (sort of) all day outside (I don't LIKE bugs), biking home... If I can cut it, that would be great- I'll be in fantastic shape come fall. :) Yay! Hope that makes up for my butt hurting all summer.
Thinking about involving Dali in my soon-to-be-present layout. :)
I like this song cuz it's both happy and sad, nice and not nice- it covers most of my emotional states. Right now, focus on the happy ones- I'm feeling happy and in love :) (=X!)
Turnaround,
every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming round
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit restless
and I dream of something wild
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless
and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry
and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I see the look in you eyes
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart...
-"Total Eclipse Of The Heart," Bonnie Tyler
Reading back on old entries from November 2000. Nearly 2 years ago! Where the hell has this year gone?! I was so passionate back then... so intense... I feel somewhat bland now, like a living happy medium. I mean, it's good... hmm... I guess I finally have the life I told Larry I wanted, so long ago... sort of, anyway. Less risk, less extremes. Overall, I'm generally happy, with interspersed showers of sadness- no rainbows or thunderstorms. Not while I writing my diary entries, anyway. I have high highs when I'm with Rick, but seldom without him. I always told Larry I'd prefer it this way, and I was right...
Readin'
Listenin' to
Thinkin' about
Most recently I was 
